Writing

WALT Use descriptive language

In class we are reading this book, it is called The Anzac Violin by Jennifer Beck. The illustrator is Robyn Belton. After we finished reading the book, we had to go to our desks and write a diary entry that is more exciting than the real diary entry. 

We had to make a table and write in some descriptive words that would put a picture in our heads to let us see and imagine what the writing was about. The part that I am writing about is when Alexander had to get on the train. I ended it there. 

We could use a thesaurus to make the words we wrote more exciting and to make our story more exciting and more descriptive. I used a thesaurus twice during my story because I had a look at my words and they were kind of boring so I wanted to change it.

So we were making a better diary entry to the one that we have read. We could be anyone in the story, I was Alexander. 

Here is my Diary entry:

I stood there in shock, as I watched what was happening.

I heard footsteps, big loud ones. I turned around and there

was a shadow of a big man holding a gun. I went closer and

as I got closer the shadow had disappeared. I creeped

over towards a bunch of boxes. I hid as I heard the fear in

their screams. 

It was a windy cool night. There were people hiding everywhere.

I heard engines roaring. As I walked away from the sound I saw beaming lights.

They were bright. I looked and saw that there were boats disappearing

into the distance. 

I walked back to the sounds and away from the boats. I saw people

falling down as I walked towards the boxes. 

I got back to the boxes. When I turned around I saw the same beaming

lights but they were coming closer. I looked around to see if I could go

hide somewhere else But it was too late. 

The lights were close and they could see me. I tried running but they

caught me and yelled at me to stop. 

I stopped, I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know

who they were and if they were going to hurt me. These random

guys came and took me to a train. I had to get onto the train.

As the train sped, the gunshots were fading away. But every

time I think about this memory I can still hear screams from the horror.